I saw you out the window.
Made me wish I wasn't stuck in here.
As if I didn't know this is supposed to happen.
It wasn't my decision,
but I wish it could have been mine.
If only I didn't hold myself back.
I disguise caring with not caring,
but you bring me back.
I look through a pinhole,
eyes half shut.
You're in the crow's nest.
and you see me.
I really like the line "You're in the crow's nest."; it made me stop and re-read the first part of the poem.
ReplyDeletei like how you framed the poem, either intentionally or unintentionally, with both parties looking the other.
ReplyDeletethe stanza, "it wasn't my decision..." presents an interesting question locus of control.
did this persona really not make the decision, or was an inablity to move another choice of action?
thank you for posting your own work.
Exquisite poem. Although it's much short that Prufrock, this somewhat reminds of Eliot's wandering explorations. "It wasn't my decision, / but I wish it could have been mine. / If I only I didn't hold myself back," is filled with tension, regret, and longing. It is always a maddening feeling to wish you had acted differently when looking back on different occasions and to me, this poem expertly contains those emotions.
ReplyDeleteit's always strange to be able to place oneself in the poem of another person.
ReplyDeletethis poem captures (in an excellent, succinct way) a moment that i'm sure many have experienced. in those last few lines ("i look through a pinhole, / eyes half shut. / you're in the crow's nest. / and you see me") truly made me relive that sort of half-contented, half-panicked feeling of being caught so off--guard, knowing you've been seen seeing something ... if that makes sense.
it made sense to me, anyhow. i dig this.