No matter what,
I'm right.
No matter what,
I'm wrong.
It's like waiting to finally jump,
to the tune of the most beautiful song.
There's always a path to walk on,
always a place to go,
someone to see,
a friend,
work.
so many cigarettes.
It's not easy letting somebody down,
because every time it happens,
I feel myself slipping.
Choose.
And deal.
This is really powerful in that it is so easy for your readers to relate to it. I can actually feel the emotions of being torn and the maybe resentful acceptance of having to accept the fact that you cannot make everyone happy. Reality is definitely not a fairy tale, and you portray that well.
ReplyDeleteThis poem sounds beautiful when it is read aloud. It has a rhythm to it that I feel needs to be acknowledged. I love how well it flows until it is sort of interrupted by "work// so many cigarettes." I think that that is a part of this poem that is a prime example of "form fits function."
ReplyDeleteAre cigarettes and work things that interrupt life?
I don't understand the cigarettes thing...Literally they are paper wrapped about tobacco, poison, and some other harsh chemicals...I guess that might connect back with the right/wrong idea, that once someone starts blazing that trail/cigarette everything gets poisoned...maybe that's not what was meant at all.
ReplyDeleteIt seems like a very decisive poem. It's nice that the problem was at least decided upon, even if it doesn't seem like a preventative method was formulated.
I hope that the creation of this poem was in someway helpful.
your form, whether accidental or purposeful, intrigues me: it dwindles to the left, much like how the persona seems to be dwindling.
ReplyDeletethe harsh reality and desperation come through clearly through your starkness and honesty. every time i let someone down i feel myself slipping...
pleasing others is one of our strongest motivations. how can we deal with ourselves if we keep disappointing?